For Tosh

For a writer.

a filmaker

a wanderer

a storyteller

a student

an artist

a comedian

a dreamer

an agnostic

a sleeper

an achiever

a friend

a listener

a pokemon lover

for Jake West

From, 

Brisa Nuendorf

P.S. The contents inside will be given to you tomorrow in class. Happy white elephant!

Ghosts of the Past

Let's Get to Know Each Other

You might know that I’m a twin, I’m on student council, I moved from San Diego, CA in seventh grade, and that I laugh at everything. 

But you don’t know that my parents divorced when I was three, being a twin can suck, and most of us didn’t join student council to put it on a college application, we actually care. 

If you knew me, you would know that my favorite color is dark blue and that I could spend a good 30 minutes showing you pictures and videos of my cat. 

You would know that I prefer living by the ocean and visiting the mountains and that when I go skiing, I go straight down the hill because I feel like I’m flying. 

You would know that I’m super outgoing, but overthink everything. 

You would know that I collect corks, but haven’t done anything with them. 

You would know that my mom and step dad are pilots and that flying makes me nervous. 

You would know that I suck at texting and would prefer calling. 

You would know that I love dancing, but I’ve never been asked to a dance. 

You would know how much I love movies and that anytime you watch a movie with me, I will be paying close attention the camera angles and script pretty much the whole time. 

You would know that I want to travel the world and make a difference. 

You would know that I have bad circulation so my hand/feet are always cold and I have headaches all the time (I should probably drink more water too).

You would know that I love history and old things.

You would know that I don’t want to care what other people think, but it’s really hard not to.

You would know that I would love to get to know you, any of you. You would know that I love meeting new people. 

Let’s get to know each other.

When you forget.

When you forget my name.
When you forget the song you used to sing me. 
When you forget about that time you taught me to bake a cake.
When you forget about chocolate milk, Hawaiian bread, and Magical School bus.
When you forget about that night we slept over at a museum. 
When you forget about holding me in your arms. 
When you forget about the brown cat and the grey cat.
When you forget about the students you taught.
When you forget about those times you took us to the movies.
When you forget my face.

I Will Remind You

I love you

BRAIN: You're being ridiculous.
HEART: No I'm not.
BRAIN: Do you honestly believe you'll make it? It's like one in a billion.
HEART: I do.
BRAIN: Good luck with that.

Those who believe they can do something and those who believe they can't are both right.
- Henry Ford

Darkness

He doesn't get me by drugs or alcohol or addiction.

He gets me by low self esteem.

Loneliness.

Anger.

That is the darkness he uses against me.

And when I start to lose hope and my dreams start to rot, he whispers in my ear, "You're a failure." And I believe him. And it stings.

And when I look into the mirror, he laughs and tells me, "Nobody will ever love you." And I close my eyes and let the tears silently slip down my cheeks.

And when he catches me admiring other peoples success, he smiles and says, "You're nothing special."

But someone once told me that starts can't shine without darkness.

And when I smiled and stood up and believed, he screamed.

And when I kept walking, he tried to stop me.

And because I never stopped and never will stop, he gave up.

Don't give up.

Why is it easier to write about sad things?

Why is writing about sad things easier than writing about happy things?

The Answer

How to write about happy things:

1. Listen to music that you enjoy or uplifts you

2. Let go of your current anger or sadness

3. Think positively

4.  Write about your passions


Why do you think it's easier to write about sad things?

Fearful Ages

One: Loud Noises

Two: Dogs

Three: Toilets

Four: Strangers

Five: Monsters

Six: Monsters

Seven: Bugs

Eight: The Dark

Nine: Ghosts

Ten: Being Kidnapped

Eleven: Coodies

Twelve: Puberty

Thirteen: Fitting In

Fourteen: Boys

Fifteen: Grades

Sixteen: Grades

Seventeen: Grades

Eighteen: Succeeding 

Beep... Beep... Beep

My heart beats for ocean water and three day weekends.

For melting ice cream and quality time.

beep.... beep... beep

For campfires and laughter.

For your wrinkled hands and your soft smile.

My heart beats for trial and error.

beep.... beep... beep

For hope and passion.

For adventure.

My heart beats for the ones who don't.

My heart beats for you.

beep.... beep... beep

I don't need your bricks.

I don't need your bricks.

Your pity parties or your strong opinions.

I don't need your judgment or your approval. I don't care if you don't like the decisions I make or the way I live my life.

Take your bricks and build a wall someplace else.

ILY

Do you really mean it if you only give me the first letter of each word?

What is Love?

How do we know what love is?

It's the t.v. shows and the movies and the magazines that scream love is beach house getaways, hot red lipstick, dangerous excursions, and perfect affairs.

It's books that whisper endless and unwavering. Flawless gentlemen and happily ever afters.

It's music that cries magical, sweet, lovely, and betrayal.

It's social media that sings pretty and perfect and exciting.

It's our parents.

They show us arguments and hard work. Flowers on February 14th and chocolates on May 8th. They show us compromise and cuddles. Surprise gifts and service. Others show us loud fights and deep grudges. Stubborn points and ignored favors.

Love isn't always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along.
-Maroon 5, She Will Be Loved

Robots

I am not a robot. Because I don't listen. I don't listen. I create. 

I don't know how to start this prompt. That's proof of my humanity.

I'm not a robot. I cry, I laugh, I grow. Math is a foreign language to me. I heal... slowly. My feelings are hurt. I can feel the sunshine on my face. I don't always follow commands. I enjoy licking ice cream on a hot summer day. One time I crashed.

 But, aren't we kind of like robots? At least a little? And aren't they kind of like us?

We both have to recharge our battery everyday. Sometimes we both have to replace broken or well used parts of our bodies. We both learn. We both become outdated and one day we die. Plus, we wake up and do almost the same thing everyday.

The difference between a robot and a human is that we have the power to change our lives.

Reach Your Peak

I don't want to "reach my peak."

What if I think that whatever I just accomplished was the highest possibility and it really wasn't? That would suck. I'd rather just keep trying to succeed and reach my goals until I literally can't anymore. Let's just say "Reach your goals," that's better. That way we're always trying and succeeding.

"If you develop the habits of success, success will become a habit." -A very smart fortune cookie

via GIPHY

Dear Kids,

I love you.

But you better put your stuff away, brush your teeth, make your bed, and do your homework without complaining.

Girls, if a boy doesn't ask you to a dance, don't freak out. It's just high school. Real dating comes afterwards. Work hard, but don't turn down fun opportunities and overwhelm yourself. Be nice. Include everyone. Laugh at everything. Read your scriptures and say your prayers. Listen to your dad. Get a job and start saving for college.

Boys, you better ask to every dance. I'll help with expenses if you need. Work hard and do your homework right when you get home. Don't sell yourself short. Try out for anything you enjoy or want to try. Dress nicely. Study your scriptures and say your prayers. Protect your younger siblings. Get a job and save for college.

Love,

Mom

Different Quote

Being different isn't a bad thing.
It means you're brave enough to be yourself.

-Luna Lovegood 

If you come with me...

She said:
You can have a white Christmas. There won't be any yelling. You can start fresh at a new school and throw snow balls at your crush. There will be more people with our beliefs.

He said:
Don't leave. What about your friends? What about your brothers and sisters? I won't see you as much. I can't tuck you in anymore. We might grow apart. We've already paid for your schooling. This is wrong. Goodbye.

I said:
I love you.  Goodbye.

Later:
I had my white Christmas. The yelling didn't stop, but it grew less effective. I've never thrown a snowball at a crush. My friends and I are still very close. I see you less but we never grew apart. You were refunded. This was right. Thank you, I love you still.

Define Child:

A young human being under the age of puberty or below the legal age of majority

A son or daughter of any age

An immature or irresponsible person

A person who has little or no experience in a particular area

One strongly influenced by another or by a place or state of affairs
A person 14 years or younger

Why would we want to be a child? We don't. We want to think like a child. There's a difference.

The Hat Shop

Some people assume a hat won't fit, but they've never tried it on. Just because you wear a helmet doesn't mean you can't hold a paint brush at the same time.

I have lots of hats. I wear the hat of a sister, a daughter, a friend, a student, a hard worker, a procrastinator, a dreamer, a doer, etc. Some I wear more than others. Some of my hats tell stories. They tell people about the places I've been, what I like to do, and the sports teams I support.

Here are a few of the hats I wear:

-Hard Worker              -Leader
-Writer                         -Adventurer            
-Rifle Marksmen         -Latter Day Saint
-Chess                         -Cork Collector  
-Artist                          -Shy
-Procrastinator            -Funny
-Daring                       -Daring

Hats I want to try on:

-Skydiver                           -Drummer
-World Traveler                 -Race Car Driver
-Surfer                               -Roller Skater
-Cook                                -Yoga
-Gardener                          -Bilingual

let's talk.

i'm not brisa neuendorf.

i'm snowfall on dark winter nights.

i'm soft music spilling out of the radio and worn out jeans.

i'm corks with the lingering smell of wine.

i'm broken thoughts and simple wishes.

i'm that kid who ran to classes in middle school.

i'm a broken record on repeat.

i'm laughter at the wrong times.

maybe it's because I love the sky.

I don't know what to tell you. I can tell you that clocks are my best friend, but time isn't. I can tell you that a photograph is a wish and sometimes a lie. Maybe one day I'll be what they want me to be, but today I'm going to be me. They may not like it, but I've decided I don't care. At least I have three legs for the table. I can tell you that some rainbows are bigger than others and that you have to have a key to get in. I can tell you that simple things are meant to be complicated. But I don't want to talk about any of these things.

I want to talk about passions and dreams. Not the dreams you wish for, but literal dreams you have in the morning. I want to talk about the sunrise and pumpkin pie and trial and error. I want to talk about ideas. I want to talk about the present. I want to talk about conversations you had with yourself and the controversy of the world. I want to talk about stuff that matters. I want to talk about stuff that doesn't matter. I just want to talk and let it spill out on the electronic papers of this blog.

So let's talk.